


Chasing dreams since I was thirteen

by Jeageractive



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Eren and Mikasa are bffs hell yeah, Eren is a fucking crybaby and that's a necessary tag, Eren with braces because tumblr, Erwin is just yeah, M/M, but not many are getting him, domestic abuse, everybody wants Levi, fluff and shit, oh whoops it's not so cute anymore, the utter douchebag in this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-29
Updated: 2014-08-30
Packaged: 2018-01-21 05:09:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1538861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeageractive/pseuds/Jeageractive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren just might have a small crush on his best friend's brother.</p><p>Who is two years older than him, dating the equivalent of Steve Rogers, has no tolerance whatsoever for 'shitty brats' like himself, and unintentionally leaks of sex god vibes.</p><p>Maybe 'small crush' is a bit understated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Once again

Like any other (accidentally) staunch teenager, Eren Jaeger drags himself to school, parties back home, and does weird shit in his room until one in the morning and then panics over his homework. Point is, there's not much adventure in his life but it still works, as much he'd doubted that as a seven year old.

He'd always been the person that gets the news last, but doesn't blame anyone because it's kind of his fault for being oblivious. But there was one thing that he should have known first, because Mikasa was his best friend, dammit, not his mother's, but he was too excited to feel left out in the end.

It was around three thirty when his mother came to pick him up from school, and as it was a Monday, he hopped into the car gladly."Hey, mom."

"Hello, dear. How was your day?" Carla seemed to be in a good mood herself.

"Meh. Mikasa's been ignoring me since yesterday."

"I told you to not text in school, I bet you barely paid attention to anything. And she's probably just busy."

"Yeah, but it's been like tradition ever since she left. We text at least at three intervals during the day." It's been two years since the Ackermans moved to another city, and this didn't affect Eren and Mikasa's connection one bit. They skyped whenever they could, and mostly just messaged each other for it's convenience.

"Don't worry about that for now."

Eren just shrugged and placed his earphones in place, mindlessly listening to random music during the ride. When they neared their home he caught sight of a U-haul truck in front of their neighbor's."Hannes is leaving?" He asked, mostly curious.

"Eren!" His mother breathed incredulously."Hannes moved out almost a month ago. Are you even serious?"

"Oh. Didn't notice. Who's moving in?"

At this Carla smiled eagerly, slowing to a park before glancing at Eren."Guess."

"What? How should I know? Like, a family of five babies minus the parents?"

"We know them."

"We do? Cool. Who?"

Carla 'hmm'ed."One of them could possibly go by the name of Mikasa Ackerman."

"You're joking." Eren twisted his entire body at this, eyes wide.

"I'm serious."

"Oh my god. I will cry for a month if you're lying." Eren gushed, throwing his seat belt off and jumping out of the car. He almost slipped maneuvering around the street and to the truck, running like his life depended on it. When he got to the back of it he stumbled to a stop and straightened up, eyes glinting with expectation. Mikasa' mother instantly noticed him and beamed."Eren! So nice to see you again."

Mikasa poked her head out of the back when she heard this, and Eren instantly squealed and ran to her, and she met him halfway. Mikasa's parents laughed as they grabbed hands and bounced in a circle, Eren's high pitched and several "oh my god!"s echoing down the street.

After their small episode of hugging and squealing was over, Eren tried to calmly greet Mr. and Mrs. Ackerman, although failing with the calm part.

He felt himself generally halt altogether when a familiar and more influencing voice reached his ears.

"I knew it was you, little shit. You scream like a girl." He turned his head to see the object of his pre-teen and untold affection striding down the walkway from his house, hands in his pocket, making Eren's heart sink with the way he squinted from the sun in order to see him.

"Levi." His mother sighed."I really think you should find a better name than that."

"What? he is a little shit." Levi mock grumbled, ruffling Eren's hair as he passed by him but stopping to give him a look and to wipe his palm with emphasized delay against the younger's arm."Wash your hair." 

"You're such a bully. Eren's hair smells like Pantene." Mikasa protested.

"You two should just get married already." 

Eren realized he still hasn't said anything. And didn't plan to.

"Oi, come here." The brunet did so, standing beside Levi as he reached inside the truck for something. He tried not to stare at the way his arm muscles rippled with strain, but hell, who was he kidding."Carry this inside?"Levi asked, oh god he  _asked_ and Eren paid no attention to how heavy the box in his hands looked, just nodded and wound his arms around it. When Levi let go, Eren had one second to curse before it dropped a few inches with it's weight, and by some miracle only it didn't just crash from his arms.

"No? Okay." The weight was instantly lifted and Eren cringed as Levi walked back to their house, resisting the urge to groan into his hands. He thought it was some dumb idolizing when he was thirteen, but absolutely nothing has changed in those two years. Shit.

"Eren, come help over here." His father called from somewhere behind him.

"Coming."

 

 

 


	2. Puppy love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa can be adorable too, okay? They all need to be. Then Levi's bad boy will stand out.
> 
> Eren's such a fucking puppy.

All Mikasa did was throw her duffle bag inside, and as soon as Levi had shoved the couch somewhere in the living room, Eren and Mikasa flopped onto it and sat in postures that clearly conveyed no more co-operation.

"You little fuckers." 

"Levi!" Came somewhere from the front. 

Levi threw his head back for a second and groaned, and Eren couldn't help but stare at the flawless curve of his neck and inwardly scream. 

"Mikasa, your Hello Kitty shit is all in those boxes over there," he gestured to a stack of boxes and a suit case by the stairs."Take them to your room. The one with the bathroom is mine, I'll stab you if you nestle there."

Mikasa blew up her cheeks for a second and gave Eren a silent expression asking for help. He shrugged and got up, and from their they broke their backs heaving luggage up and going back down again. When the last box hit the empty floor Mikasa sighed heavily and straightened up."Levi's gonna bitch all day if I don't start cleaning. But whatever, screw him."

"Still the same?" Eren's lips quirked up, and he tried to make his obvious endearment a bit more subtle.

"That's one thing coursing through his veins." She rolled her eyes, running a hand through ebony hair and removing it from her face.

"We're having dinner at Carla's, kids. She insisted. Come in an hour, alright?" Mr.Ackerman called from downstairs.

Eren squealed again."We're neighbors. Omg."

 

* * *

 

"Eren, dear, go call Levi before he passes out from exhaustion." Carla threw over her shoulder, hands occupied with the oven.

Mumbling an excuse would probably have been a bit more believable, but said brunet couldn't do anything other than shove his chair back more aggressively than intended, smiling apologetically at the grating screech before hopping up and making his way out of the dining room.

Mrs. Ackerman gave her husband an 'I told you' look, lips betraying her amusement. He propped his chin in his hand and returned her glance with an uncommitted one.

Eren slipped his shoes on and scuttled out, relishing in the cool breeze that came along with darkness. He made his way to the fence by the their own and walked along the walkway, licking his lips and preparing himself to act nonchalant as he opened the predictably open front door and stepped inside.

"Uh, Levi?"He called first, not wanting to walk in wordlessly like the awkward child he was.

"What?" Came his reply from upstairs.

"Mom told me to come get you for dinner."

"No thanks. Gotta lot of work to do."

Eren heard what he thought was the slap of a mop against the floor and almost laughed."You should come eat anyway."

"Go away, little shit."

"My name's Eren."

He heard a round of slow clapping and pouted, before Levi came down the stairs with a bucket and mop tucked under his arm, in jeans and a black shirt and the trademark house wife bandannas. He couldn't help but giggle a little, to which Levi fixed him with a glare as he reached the last step and put the bucket down.

"I have a fucking mop in my hand, Eren. You seriously wanna try me?"

The brunet felt something warm spread in his chest because Levi was teasing him now, rather than dismissing him and walking away. He tried not to laugh, really but it was kind of hard when he was just threatened with a mop.

"You wouldn't hurt me." Eren said with confidence that even surprised himself.

"I wouldn't count on that."Levi waved his mop at him one more time before throwing it into the bucket, then removing the cloth around his mouth.

"So are you coming?" The younger asked, hands mindlessly twiddling behind his back.

"Do I have a choice?"

Eren grinned, and Levi dragged him out by the ear to lower his he-won't-hurt-me self esteem and for laughing at his cleaning garbs.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't write any more right now, my brain's stuck in a ditch.


	3. In reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's heart begins breaking.

Since Carla was angel enough to offer giving Mikasa a ride to school with Eren, said teen was probably having the week of his life. His parents were a little worried, though, because he barely spent any time at home anymore, instead at the house next doors doing this with Mikasa, helping Levi with that, or just any excuse to be at the Ackermans. If Carla thought they would be bothered, she would've stopped him, but Eren got along with every one of them so well that she couldn't say anything. Grisha simply watched as well to see where this was going.

Friday evening, Eren asked if he could spend the night there. His mother feigned hurt at first that he was avoiding them so much, but got down to business and told him that it was becoming an unhealthy obsession or something. Grisha, on the other hand, told her to let it slide and enjoy the proximity of his best friend for now.

After Mr. and Mrs.Ackerman's permission, of course, the sleep over was confirmed.

"So what do we do? No hair makeovers, though, the last time you did that I got hair spray in my eye and cried for the whole night." 

Mikasa chuckled at the memory, remembering how it took a while to get all the hair clips out of Eren's head too. They were only ten and she didn't know better."We could start our project."

"No. You're so Asian." He grumbled, to which he got a funny look.

"You're fucking racist."

"You're fucking Asian." The first pillow hit him then, and he rolled off of Mikasa's fuzzy carpet and up to throw it back, and shit got real then. Because Eren sort of forgot that his best friend could take a few older macho dudes like a sip of water. And the only person more badass than her as far as Eren knew was Levi, and that was saying something.

"Oh my god no I'm sorry-!" He yelped when his back hit the floor and then the pillow followed. Almost twenty times, and Mikasa still had Eren in place by the front of his shirt and Eren was screaming for no good reason, just because he could scream. Like, really well.

When they didn't quit for along while, a loud bang came from the wall connected to Levi's bed room."I'm trying to talk to someone over here."

Eren winced and shared a collective glance with the girl on top of him."Maybe we should go watch a movie."

"Sounds good."

They ended up watching frozen, and four popcorn bags and a tub of ice cream later, Mikasa realized that Levi and herself were the only two that wouldn't be sniveling by the end of it.

"That was just-" Eren forced out, dramatically clutching the front of his shirt.

"The shittiest bunch of plot and character ever to be created." Mikasa nonchalantly finished, tossing a kernel into her mouth.

Eren gaped at her, offended."But-but Elsa- and, and Anna! And..and..."

She wrinkled her nose in distaste."Drama queens, honestly. I've had an ice queen bitching in his room for the past fifteen years of my life, and I don't give a shit if he stays for another fifteen."

The brunet cracked up at this so hard, patting her shoulder appreciatively and struggling to breathe."I really wanna sing now." His eyes drifted to the hallway behind Mikasa and then back.

"I'm up for it." She smirked, instantly catching on and following Eren down the hall. When they got to Levi's room, said brunet leaned in and knocked on the door.

"Whaaaaat."

"Do you wanna build a snowman?"

"Don't you effing dare, Jaeger."

"Come on, let's go and play~"

"You always act like such a bitch." Mikasa decided to chime in, and Eren whipped his head in her direction with wide eyes.

"Oh shit. Okay bye~" He tried playing it off. But of course Levi wouldn't let it slide. The door whipped open and Eren was grabbed by the back of his shirt like a cat.

"It was Mikasa, I swear!"He squeaked, but Levi had already elbowed the door shut and pushed him inside.

"Just for being more of a little shit than usual, you're going to talk to a random dude and be conversational."

There was a soft laugh from Levi's bed, where his laptop was strewn carelessly."Levi, I can hear you."

The raven shrugged."Actually Erwin just wanted to see you for some reason. Fuckin' creep."

Eren just gave him a really confused look, and complied reluctantly when he was practically shoved onto bed and in front of the screen. 

"He just talks about this lil' Eren so much, I was getting a little curious. You cruel bastard, how can you manhandle such an adorable child?"

"I said there was a little shit called Eren who secretly wants to marry my sister, and once."

Eren wanted to retort that he was gay, but figured it would be awkward to just suddenly burst out in front of this- wow, hot damn, was this guy just a normal civilian even? Like, he really got it all nailed. Typical blond hair and blue eyes, the most fitting square jaw, this sculptured nose, charming smirk, and a build to die for as far as he can tell from the wife beater that shouldn't be legalized to hug his form like that. 

"You're staring." Levi stated the obvious, and Eren came back to earth at his voice.

"Are you Chris Evans?" Was the first thing he blurted without giving it a single damn thought, to which the blond on the camera threw his head back and laughed. Eren smiled awkwardly, but when his eyes glimpsed the small box in the corner of the screen displaying him in all his braces and glory, he instantly pressed his lips back together. Yeah, maybe this is the second person in his life to make him feel hella self conscious, and in a really strange way.

"No, I'm Erwin smith." He said between a small chuckle when he recovered from his laughing fit."And you're adorable, no matter what the grouch tells you."

Eren blushed almost indignantly, unintentionally frowning a little. He hated that word, he hated little shit, too, but for some reason people thought it was some sort of compliment. It wasn't, because it meant they couldn't take him seriously, and most importantly,  _Levi_ would never take him seriously.

He tried to cover up by smiling, forced, but still could be just taken as embarrassment."So, uh...are you guys friends?"

"No, just met him on Omegle." Levi scoffed.

"We're boyfriends." Erwin gave Levi a smile that told him to quit being a prick.

"Oh." Was all the brunet could bring himself to say. Something inside of him fell apart, he wasn't exactly sure what at the moment, but he knew he had to get out right now before something bad happened.

Another smile."That's great." The urge to leave increased when he felt something behind his eyes sting."I'll leave you guys now." He quickly pushed himself up, and padded across rug, replying with a simple 'yeah', when Erwin said something along the lines of nice to meet you.

Mikasa greeted him at the door and he restrained an ugly urge to tell her to fuck off when she asked if he got kicked too hard, but found himself breathing something akin to a laugh, an empty one. "Yeah, I think I need the washroom."

"'kay."

He walked there mechanically, shut the door behind him and leaned against the sink.  _What the fuck is wrong with me?_ He opened the tap and splashed his face with water when he felt his first few tears fall, trying to hold back, but choking on a lump building up in his throat. 

Why was he so surprised? Why the fuck had he lead himself into false hope? Levi, single, and secretly in love with him. Maybe he hadn't thought of it directly this way, but ultimately still acted according to such dreams.

Every time he blinked, Erwin's face would appear behind his eyes and he'd cry harder, and he realized why he felt nothing warm spur inside of him when he saw Erwin was because he fucked everything up, and he hated him. 

Because. Because when he looked up and stared at his reflection in the mirror, he realized he was everything the man wasn't. In Levi's eyes, to be specific.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate this chapter so much. Because. i. cannot.write.


	4. Thrum of the heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliche shtuff.  
> LEVI IS TALL OKAY I can't imagine him being shorter than Eren in this fic. Just saying cuz I'm too lazy to describe that in the actual thing.  
> The whole purpose of this chapter was Levi bringing Eren to his chest.

Eren really wanted to go home after the incident, but figured that he would leave Mikasa confused if he did so, or maybe even suspicious. He reluctantly removed himself from the bathroom and plastered on as much of a believable expression of normalcy as he could, trying to avoid hearing anything as he passed by Levi's shut door, but a soft laugh reached his ears anyway.

"That took you long enough." Mikasa muttered with a raised eyebrow when Eren returned to the den upstairs and plopped down beside her on the couch."You up for some games?"

The brunet leaned his head against his best friend's shoulder and shut his eyes softly."I only play Attack On titan."

"It's been my recent obsession too." 

"Hell yes, then." He instantly shot up, wide awake and in a comical stance readying for battle. Mikasa shoved his head lightly and called him a dork as she got up, and he chuckled, but felt so terrible and fake that he instantly turned a smile into a grimace. They played until Eren's fingers were aching from the controller, Mikasa had beat him at least thirty times, and until his mind was partially off of Erwin and Levi. 

He fell asleep at one point, waking up with the rug's design imprinted against his cheek and with a light blanket draped over him. Mikasa was snuggly curled up against the couch. He only blinked at her back for a second before returning his face to the ground and falling back to sleep.

The second time he woke up, his body was aching and heavy with over dozing. Quite literally. He took a moment to stretch and run a hand through his hair, which felt uncomfortably out of sorts, before washing up and brushing his teeth. 

When he trudged down the stairs zombie-like and was met with the sight of the family all around the dinner table, Mrs.Ackerman smiled warmly at him like the genuine woman she was. How she could produce a child like Levi was beyond him.

"You're awake already?" She asked as he took his place in the chair beside her.

"That was a joke, right? Because it's twelve and this is lunch."Levi bluntly remarked and Eren only then noticed that what was in front of him looked nothing like breakfast.

"It's only Saturday, Levi. Not everyone's a morning person like you." His father said, distracted by the newspaper in his hand.

Eren couldn't help but giggle a little at the casual way Mikasa murmured,"More like ass crack of dawn to clean your windows person."

"Your windows are as dirty as dad's windshield." Levi narrowed his eyes at her and she gestured with her hand at her oddity of a brother, in a 'my point exactly' manner.

* * *

Eren was ready to lunge and fight, gosh he was so fucking  _done_ , but for once his brain worked properly while angry, and actually pondered the consequences of his actions. First of all, suspension, which led to a chain of his father, then his mother, then people and lectures and  _ugh_ -that face was so asking for it.

"The fuck is wrong with you, Jaeger? Must be in a good mood to keep that fist at your side still." There was what, four of them? he could take them all in this empty hallway that was deserted by students nearly fifteen minutes ago. His mother must have gotten worried.

He just opened his mouth and was about to retort when and arm slipped around his shoulder and effortlessly swerved him out of the cluster of idiots, pressing him against a firm chest and the look on Eren's face was probably a little over and beyond mortified when he practically felt the hum of said person's voice from his position.

"I'm going to have to ask you all to kindly fuck off and continue on your way." Levi was the new senior, sure, but he was the new senior that had all the girls practically swooning and half of the guys as well, made it into several sports team and brought the winning of three games, all in one fucking week. It wasn't hard to find out who that new senior was, and it was good that they knew better because they pretended to sneer and leave with what little thug dignity left that Levi would probably have wiped the floor with if they stayed any longer.

Eren watched them retreat from the corner of his vision, mouth slightly hung open as he tried to figure what just happened. Almost cautiously, he lifted his head and blinked up at Levi, not knowing it was possible to love him more. He got a small indifferent, probably also amused glance in return."Hi." Then was promptly released and given a small press of hand against the middle of his back, cuing him to continue forward.

"Carla spotted me on my way out and asked for you. You were lucky my locker got jammed, or else I wouldn't have stayed this late."

"Oh." The brunet mindlessly swept his bangs to the side, switching his textbook to his other arm."Sorry for the trouble."

"You're hopeless without me. The hell are you gonna do next year?"

Eren almost laughed at the unintentional accuracy of that comment, but shrugged instead."I have Mikasa."

"Oh right." Levi added in a sarcastically thoughtful tone, kicking the door leading to the public parking lot open. "You two are getting married."

"No, stop saying that. I don't have any intentions of marrying Mikasa, no idea where you got that from."  _I kind of want to marry you, but that's beside the point._

The raven shaded his eyes with a hand as he glanced to where Carla's car was parked a short distance away. 

"Thank you, dear." Carla sighed after rolling the window down, Levi waving it off with a flick of his wrist.

"Aren't you coming?" Eren asked when Levi turned to leave, fingers playing with the strap of his backpack.

"No, got some stuff to do."

"Alright, see ya." 


	5. Confrontations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be honest and say the sleeping by the car part was inspired by Carly Rae.

Spring rolled by, and the school year was coming close to an end. Maybe it was just him, but Eren felt Mikasa was a little sadder about Levi leaving than necessary, Mr. and Mrs. Ackerman a little more teary eyed and let-me-hug-you than necessary, and he didn't understand because Levi was just going to college, right?

Right?

It didn't seem like it. Levi called him shitty more than usual, would sometimes just pause for a second and stare at him fixedly before smirking it off and turning away, and insisted that Eren needs to man up. Eren told him he was man enough.

Even though on the inside he just felt like a pile of mush and tingles around him.

It was a consistent type of quiet, where if things went low all of a sudden someone would try to bring it back up. Like they were forcing a normalcy. Eren didn't question it, was too afraid to, because he was more than sure something else was going on.

He felt it particularly a little more normal one hot Saturday when Levi declared it car wash day, deciding he'd wash all of their cars altogether, which were four, and Mikasa and Eren would be his minions for the day.

As he got his equipment ready and stepped outside, he noticed that Eren disappeared into thin air.

"Where's Eren?" He asked Mikasa as he dropped two buckets on the lawn and went to turn on the hose.

"Dunno." Mikasa shrugged.

Levi filled up a bucket and twisted the knob closed, some excess water falling onto the grass and seeping to his toes through his sandals. He heaved the bucket to the side of his mother's car, pausing and restraining a laugh. 

Eren was dead asleep on the patch of clean cut grass right by the car, probably choosing the spot because of the generous shade cast on it. He was sprawled on his back in a light t-shirt and knee high shorts, backpack thrown by his side carelessly. He had one arm flung across the grass, fingers twitching ever so slightly when a breeze swept by and ruffled the grass so it tickled the tip of his ear or his hand.

Levi was going to laugh at first, but sort of forgot to for a second, and he hadn't realized that he stood for almost a full minute with his hands on his hips, head tilted and eyes concentrated. In the end he threw a glance to his side, where Mikasa had her back to him and was watering a line of miniature hollyhocks that were already grown by the previous owner.

The street was empty enough. He quickly pulled his phone out of his pocket, swiped it open and snapped a picture of the brat on the ground, before slipping it back into his pocket nonchalantly just as Mikasa threw a glance over her shoulder.

"C'mere." He told her, and she put down the hose before scrambling onto the hood of the minivan and to his side, blinking twice at he spot on the ground before her lips curled up into a fond smile.

"He's tired."

Levi nudged the bucket with his foot."Should I?"

" _No_. Levi, our teacher's being more of a bitch than usual with exams coming up, leadership took up his lunch time for volunteer hours, gym was also a bitch, plus he had a soccer game. You can't be that cruel."

He ignored her and picked up the bucket of water.

"You can't, oh my god.  _Levi-_ " Her words hung in the air as he tipped the bucket over and water poured out in a rush, hitting Eren with a loud splash.

"He's going to kill you." She squeaked.

Eren immediately gasped, jerking up into a sitting position with startled eyes, knees tensed and ready to jump up at any second. He remained still as he choked and breathed heavily, going rigid with the sensation of water making his shirt cling to his body.

After a moment, his eyes finally moved up and he blinked at the two staring at him in anticipation. He breathed out a,"Holy fuck.", and Levi dropped the bucket and ran. Eren was an adorable, innocent little crap that turns into something much more terrifying when angry.

Mikasa slid back a little when Eren sprang to his feet and skirted the car, undoubtedly chasing after Levi, unsure if she should be worried about the safety of her brother, who still had the guts to cackle as he ran.

After they rounded the house twice and Eren was still screaming bloody murder, Mikasa shoved the hose in his hands to give him a better occupation and he used it well.

"Fuck, so you team up against me-" Levi wasn't given warning when water blasted into his face.

Someone was bound to get hurt, Mikasa realized, in the next few seconds. That is, until Grisha interfered and also got himself drained in the process, but in the end he managed to stop them. Just barely.

Mikasa hadn't seen Eren be angry at Levi before. Ever. It just went as far as a pout, a half-hearted glare, and nothing but. There was something the younger had always held for Levi, whatever it was, respect, admiration, obligation, she couldn't really fathom, but it was changing. Breaking, increasing, diminishing, whatever it was would determine Eren's course of action that day.

And Mikasa wanted to know.

"Eren." She said in a soft but curious tone as he was vigorously drying his hair with a towel."What happened?"

He paused at this completely, then returned to his previous activity slowly, as if thoughtful. He didn't meet her gaze when he pulled the towel off of his face and dropped it beside him."What do you mean?" His tone displayed his understanding but also his aversion.

"You flipped out on Levi. You never do that."

He moved a hand through his hair as he continued staring at the floor distantly."Took me by surprise and gave me a heart attack. I didn't mean to." Now it was small, regretting.

"Look, I'm not...scolding you or anything, because what you did made sense. You were angry. I just wanted to know why you never did before."

"You're not making any sense, Mikasa."

"How do you feel about Levi?"

It looked like Eren tried to conceal, but it was evident in the firm lock of his jaw and the way his face went colorless that Mikasa struck home.He didn't say anything for a long moment.

The raven gently placed her hand on top of his, realizing that this was even more serious than she assumed. And she was as curious as ever.

"I've never talked to anyone before about this, alright? And I can't tell you unless you promise not to...act according to it at all." His voice was insecure almost, vulnerable. But she couldn't lie.

"But what if it does require action?"

"No, Mikasa, it's- it's kind of useless."

She sighed heavily."Okay. I'm listening."

Eren was quiet for a long moment after that, and Mikasa thought he's never talk.

"I, uh. Sort of. Gosh, how do I say this?" He inhaled deeply, voice dropping to a low whisper."I, kind of like your brother. Like, I know I sound stupid, but hopelessly in love. Type of thing."

" _Oh._ " Mikasa breathed a little too loudly, and Eren made a shushing motion, before burying his face in his hands.

"Oh." She was supposed to say something else, but couldn't really bring herself to do so as it all sunk in. It made so much sense that she wanted to facepalm for being so unattentive about the whole thing.

"For...how long?"

"Since about...grade seven, maybe?"

"Oh my god." She ran a hand over her face."And so...all this time. And now? Erwin, is that why?"

"Not only Erwin, Mikasa. Just- everything. Even if it wasn't Erwin, do I look qualified to have a chance with him when he's got every single fucking girl and guy swooning and available? Come on."

"You know he's not shallow. Telling me not to act according to this? Bullshit."

"No, Mikasa." Eren's face contorted."You can't betray me like that."

Mikasa was about to shoot something back when something occurred to her."Eren."

He made a hum of question.

"Levi's moving out with Erwin next year. Back at our city."

 

 


	6. Fatal silence (if only you'd said something)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa and Levi can't hate each other. It's impossible here.

Mikasa had plans for prom. And not just dress and date plans, but plans that involved Eren, also ones he completely wasn't willing to carry out.

His appointment for removing his braces was a day before prom, and he wanted it that way because, well. Obvious reasons. 

It wasn't a huge difference, he decided, but still not completely unnoticeable. It looked pretty amazing especially when he got all suited up and ready.

He regretted telling Mikasa about anything as he stood in the entrance of the hotel with his 'date'.

"I'm so sorry, Annie." Eren sighed as his fingers played with the cuff of his tux coat. He looked up to meet her bored gaze as she chewed on her gum, blinking eyes lighter on makeup than the usual caked layers girls preferred on this occasion. The soft touches fit her well, she was really pretty and attractive, but Eren wasn't attracted to her, sadly. 

She shrugged a slim shoulder nonchalantly."A dance wouldn't hurt anyone."

Eren hoped so. He wasn't sure of her relationship status with the everlastingly quiet kid, Bert or whatever, but he thought he looked at her differently, warmly.  

Levi had invited him and Mikasa after they pestered him for quite a bit, and the latter had chosen to make the night memorable. According to her, anyway. Eren just felt like it might spiral down and get really messed up.

He half expected to find Levi being crowned for prom king when they entered, but remembered that Levi completely refused before hand. Bastard thinks he's to good or something. 

It was loud and packed, and the dance floor was suffocating but Eren knew it would be pointless to skip. He met Mikasa in the crowd, shoved Jean away, who'd latched on to his best friend the first day he saw her.

"I don't like this." Was the first thing he told her as Annie wandered off somewhere.

"Do I have to teach you how to have fun too? Gosh." She looked absolutely stunning, and Eren decided that he'd be a little more prepared next time something like this happened. She grabbed his hand."Let's go find Levi."

"Won't that be kind of awkward?"

"There are no awkward moments, Eren. You decide to make it awkward or not."

"Wise words." They pushed through the clustered dance floor, that practically shook with the volume of the music and people's movements, and they found Annie first. Mikasa made them hold hands, and Eren tried to hide his reluctance. He didn't want to be fake.

"There he is. We need to yell, he can't possibly hear us." Mikasa waited until she was right behind her brother before giving him a smack on the back to make her presence be known in all clarity. 

Levi just sighed as they bunched around him and interrupted some sort of conversation he was having with a really pretty girl.

She was introduced as Petra, and Annie was introduced as Annie. The rest knew each other.

Eren had an inward battle to not make some delirious comment about how Levi looked right now in a tux. Not much attention was paid to him anyway, so he stared freely. He mindlessly lifted his eyes a while later to find Levi staring back, and turned his gaze away with reddening cheeks that were lost in the dark and flashing illumination.

The older sighed irritably when the music felt like it turned up a notch and more people were screaming to the lyrics."I'm out of here."

"You can't just ditch." Mikasa protested. 

"I'm just getting some fresh air for a minute." He'd already turned around and made his way in the direction of the back exists. 

Mikasa's eyes drifted toward Eren and silently communicated something. Eren's face morphed into a nervous 'no thanks'.

Her eyes narrowed and she motioned towards the direction Levi left from.

The brunet relented, sliding his hands in his pockets and waiting until he made sure Levi was out. Then he excused himself. 

His brain wasn't even trying to formulate something to say to him once he went outside, just tiresomely declared to walk ahead and stop thinking so much. He found Levi sitting on the nearest bench with his arm slung along the top with his back to him. From his posture and the small traces of light he seemed to be on his phone.

Erwin, Eren thought with a grimace, and decided to slide back inside without interrupting or being noticed.

"Come here, lil' stalker." Too late.

"Uh..."

"Too bad."

Eren rubbed at the back of his neck, debating a thing or two. In the end he slipped his hands back into his pockets and made his way to the bench, taking a seat as far away as possible without falling or looking like he was intentionally being cautious. Yeah, kind of meaningless.

Levi shut his phone off as soon as he sat down, and remained quiet for a long minute. Eren took this time to observe the yard, the darkness cast on the bench in comparison to the walkway lined with small lights, the almost lavish set up of it and how he couldn't really care less about the going-ons inside right now. Then he felt really sad all of a sudden, and decided if he burst into tears Levi would just compare him to a drunk, hormonal girl with too much petty insecurities.

He found himself subconsciously asking,"How long until you leave?"

"I have to get things settled this summer, so probably just after grad." 

"How is he?"

Levi paused at this."Who?"

"Erwin, I mean. What's he really like?"

"You saw him yourself."

"I didn't find any major revelations about him in those few minutes we talked. Other than his good looks."

The raven chuckled a bit at this. The sound pained Eren more than he thought it would.

"I'm not sure if I can explain. I do know him well enough to be making this decision, though."

"It'd be nice to know that you're happy." He didn't add the 'with him' part. It was becoming hard to speak past everything building up in his chest and clogging his throat. The last thing he wanted to sound right now was bitter.

"What's wrong with you today?" Levi asked in his usual bordering between plain mocking to fond tone.

"Nothing." Eren breathed an empty laugh, feeling everything slip out of his control. His chest hurt too much, tears behind his eyes persisted too much, his leaving was just too much. 

It was dark enough that Levi didn't notice when he shut his eyes and cried silently. He didn't ask anything else, and neither did Levi. 

 


	7. Falling behind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the angst will soon end, bbys

Grad came unnoticeably, inched its way silently until it hit Eren in the face one morning. He sat up in bed and stared wide eyed at the mirror conveniently placed on the wall across from his bed, eyes wide, lips parted, and hair that has seen better days.

He moved in agitation instead of being deliberate, stumbling into the washroom with a mind dizzy with buzzing thoughts.

Levi was going to Erwin tonight.

The brunet rubbed at his bangs vigorously to help ease his mind. Discipline. Levi was not his, and had every right to stay with Erwin if he wanted to.

He had to swallow it all down and not show a single bit of it. Levi was going to his new home tonight and Eren had no right to ruin it for him by his pathetic feelings. For Levi, he would control himself. Even if that meant walking about hallowed and dull.

"Eren dear." Carla rarely called him by his name only. Her voice was even more tender and worrisome as she sat across the table from him, motherly scrutiny for a minute through his bowl of cereal revealing his distressed state to her."What's bothering you?"

The younger felt it coming, the pent up frustration that had nothing to do with her. He continued eating wordlessly, a crease forming between his eyebrows as he ate despite himself. His stomach was in no mood for food.

"Eren, darling-" The clink of the spoon against the porcelain of his bowl cut her off.

"You want me to say I'm alright. Sure, I'm heartless and I'm alright, nothing hurts me. I don't give a fuck if he leaves and throws everything behind him."

_Especially me._

Carla was about to speak again, but Eren guiltily stopped her."I'm not allowed to get attached, is that it? Well guess what, I did, and I have feelings too. And it hurts to see him leave." _And it kills me because he's going to the man he loves. Even though it's not his fault that he fell in love_.

"Darling." She tried again."I didn't say anything, I was just worried about you."

The brunet angrily glared at her for another moment before shutting his eyes and sighing heavily."I'm...really sorry, I didn't mean to let it out on you, I just..."

"Levi's older than you. Thinks different than you. Has a different lifestyle due to his age and people surrounding him in that category. Think about it, it's like running after him and knowing you'll never be able to catch up."

Eren blinked at the table in confusion, eyes drifting to her slowly."What are you getting at?"

Carla's eyes softened sympathetically."I know about it, honey. It's written all over your face. If not by your actions, it's by the look in your eyes whenever he's around or just his name is brought up. You're downright lovesick."

Eren tensed, and he stared at his mother like a deer caught in headlights. He didn't think it was that obvious. But then again, when did he ever think when it came to Levi? Gnawing at his bottom lip, he poked at his half eaten food with a spoon to avert his mother's gaze. He already felt himself flushing.

"You haven't done anything wrong, dear. It's not his gender, me and your father would never judge you in that sense, but you're just hurting yourself if you continue like this."

"I know, mom. And I swear I'm happy for him. Just give me time. I'll forget. I have to, it's wrong if I don't. I don't want to ruin his relationship with Erwin." When he met his mother's gaze again, the skepticism and sympathy had just increased. He hadn't meant to, because his words wouldn't be taken as credible, but the tears streaming down his face were beyond his control.

 

* * *

 

Levi just had to go and be valedictorian, by the time he gave his speech Eren was absolutely bored out of his mind. But his speech made up for it, it was all Levi in it's lack of restraint and blunt honesty (Eren still had a hard time believing that he actually got away with making several jabs at the school's caf and whatnot, and the amount of times he said shit.Everyone was too busy enjoying the change to protest, he guessed.)

His mom was in tears, his father in his usual under enthusiastic but still happy demeanour, and Mikasa with her usual violent way of showing affection. She slapped him on the back hard enough to get a fleeting wince and a venomous 'love you too.'

Carla was being Carla and Grisha was being Grisha. As far as himself, he wasn't sure what he was doing other than trying to remove as much attention from himself as possible. And also avoid talking to Levi. Because he promised himself not to cry in front of him.

He'd meet Levi's glance for a second and wonder what he was thinking. Crowd, I'm fucking done, brats. Probably something along the lines of that.

The ceremony was soon over, and a bigger dread came closer.

Levi was almost gone.

He sat on his bed and quietly watched the clock go from nine to ten fifteen. Stared at the floor and strained his hearing when Mr. Ackerman's voice reverberated outside through his open window, and took a moment to compose himself when Mikasa knocked on his bedroom door and called his name.

Her eyes held a spark of worry, and she remained quiet after he opened his door and only perused him with her gaze. "Will you be okay?" She ventured softly.

"Don't worry about it." It was too late to think about that now.

He didn't go out until he was sure everyone was done exchanging goodbyes. Mr. Ackerman had just finished heaving the last of Levi's belonging's into the back of his van, about to drive him to the airport since it was just a one way trip. Levi was trying to talk his mother out of her tears but she was a mother, and made it clear to Levi several times that he's still her little baby no matter how mature he thinks he is.

The raven noticed Eren almost instantly."There you are, little shit."

"For god's sake, Levi." His mother exasperatedly protested.

Levi just gave her a dramatized glance of a meek, pursed lip apology before making his way to Eren and flicking him in the nose. "Thought you forgot about me." His voice feigned hurt.

A corner of Eren's lips quirked upwards."Yeah, well."

"You suddenly go automated whenever you talk to me. On every other instance you sound like you swallowed a tape recorder."

"So basically the tape recorder breaks."

"Oh look, you can think." Levi emphasized this by ruffling his hair like he always does.

"Oh fuck you." Eren angrily blurted, quickly turning his gaze behind Levi to make sure Mr. Ackerman hadn't heard him. Deflating a little, he let out a soft sigh."I'll miss you."

"You'd better." That was 'I'll miss you too." In Levi language, and it was good enough for Eren. It was also good enough of prompting for him to cry, but he promised himself, and he wasn't giving up just yet.

A moment of silence passed over them and surprisingly, Levi was the one to break it. "I still have that piece of crap thing you made for me ages ago."

"What thing?"

"That necklace. You stole the key to this music box or something, put it on a chain and then put these really hideous looking beads on it with my name and told me to wear it everyday. You were five, I think." Levi had worn a subtle smile at the memory.

"What, I did? Oh my god that's so..." Eren's face scrunched up in embarrassment.

"Shut up, babies do endearing shit. I threw away the beads, though, they were too fucking ugly." Eren just stared at him after that, partially in thought, partially dumbstruck. Levi had kept something he made for ten years.

Was he overreacting?

Was he?

Mr. Ackerman cut his train of thought when he told Levi to hurry up if he didn't want to be late for his flight. A urge that hadn't really occurred to him before gnawed at the back of his mind. He was so preoccupied with keeping his distance that he couldn't distinguish anymore where his real boundaries between himself and Levi lay.

A hug wasn't out of the range of friends or the one who tolerates the other while the other one holds ambiguous feelings sort of relationship. Right?

"I have to go now, brat."

But Eren didn't want to get attached anymore than he already was. He cracked a strained and half hearted smile. "Have nice trip."

Levi paused and his expression went from casually teasing to a little more serious."Will you be alright?"

Why'd everyone ask him that? Eren tried mustering up all the feelings of nonchalance that never did exist in one glance.

"I'll be alright."

He's been lying a lot lately.


	8. Bruises and heartbreaks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Eren is totally the kid that gets away with everything in this fic.

After Levi's departure, the world didn't stop spinning, like Eren made it out to be. It did, however, fall into an uncomfortable calm. It took everyone a while to adjust to the change.

But they talked to each other a lot. It became a part of Eren and Mikasa's together time to Skype Levi, send him texts, call non stop until they bothered him enough to answer. Levi always made the time to talk to them somehow, though.

Erwin usually came to butt in and grab Levi, jokingly grumbling about being jealous of the amount of time they took.

And Eren really, really wanted to fucking punch him in the face at times like these because-the fucker had him all to himself and still took the initiative to bitch about being jealous. His feelings of submissive acceptance before never prompted him a single bit to move on and forget, only developed into fiery and painful feelings of hate. Painful because he didn't have the heart to express them in any way.

Not when Levi looked like that. When he looked genuinely happy, smiled more often, laughed, and his eyes held a spark of everlasting animation, components Eren constantly reminded himself he most likely wouldn't be able to provide Levi with.

And that's where the true difference existed _—_ Erwin could make him happy, and Eren couldn't.

Levi would never look at him in that sense, give him  _that_ smile, in fact his feelings couldn't possibly cross the line of anything more than brotherly love. It was so fucking one-sided it made Eren want to laugh.

But he didn't know; he only evaluated based on what lay in front of him, and what was openly in front of him was bound to hide a bit of the truth one way or another. Levi always did have a talent for concealing, after all. Which is why a certain truth went unnoticeable for a long, long time.

He should've guessed. From the quick downfall of the excitement of the adventure, to the hesitance in Levi's voice, hell he even _stuttered_ more often and Levi never stuttered _—_ his confidence and self esteem were firm Levi traits.

He refused video calls a lot more often, said that he was too busy or something, and still no one felt a hint of suspicion. Eren wanted to kick himself for his inattentive, useless fucking brain for not catching on earlier. 

Mrs. Ackerman was absolutely done when September was coming close to an end and she hadn't seen Levi in a month. She called and demanded he open up his Skype immediately, adding her motherly threats that Eren and Mikasa, sprawled on the couch with homework, giggled at. She won the argument and the couch dipped with a third occupant, both teens throwing their books aside and joining the chat, which Levi complained about being bombarded.

"You'd better have a good reason for ignoring us this long, young man." 

"I certainly do. College." Levi shrugged, looking a little more _—_ outwardly, anyway _—_ bored than usual, bangs swept more to the side, pale, made Eren's heart flit a little in it's beat _—_ same old Levi. 

"How are things going for you?" She had the courtesy to exclude Erwin from that question, because she knew as well. Heck, who  _didn't_ know anymore? Eren was so obvious it was strange Levi hadn't caught on. 

It wouldn't make a difference if he had, anyway.

"Good." He instantly averted her gaze as he said this, with that small tilt of his head accidentally exposing a darkening mark around his upper cheek.

Ms. Ackerman gasped and went into frantic motherly-ness mode."What's that bruise on your cheek? What happened, oh my god Levi _—"_

 _"_ It's fine, geez, calm _down._ I got into a...a brawl with this douche bag in school." Eren noticed the small pause, but overlooked it like the idiot he was. When it was someone like Levi being taken into account _—_ who expressed himself in small gestures _—_ every small detail was important. 

"Already? And you call me violent." Mikasa chimed in, to which Levi gave her a look.

"Your insight is not appreciated."

"You never were an appreciative person." 

"You two, stop it. I still can't comprehend how Eren gets along with you thugs, he's such an angel." Ms. Ackerman gave Eren a smile that he reciprocated with a sweet and flattered one of his own.

"Oh, totally. Eren. An angel." Mikasa wore an 'I don't even' expression that Ms. Ackerman failed to catch on to.

"Uh huh, you just keep thinkin' that." Levi nodded at her with an 'I'm not even gonna bother' look.

"Thanks, I feel so  _appreciated._ " Eren continued with the facade, glimpsing Levi making a throat slitting motion and mouthing a 'later'.

* * *

 Last time, it had dissipated into pleasant talk and went forgotten, but it couldn't possibly be overlooked when another fresh mark appeared.

It was the three of them again, comfortable on the couch as they called Levi enough times to make him answer in an exasperated groan but still refuse to open the fucking webcam because apparently he was 'strutting around in his birthday suit' (his boxers). His mother countered it with a statement that questioned his levels of shame, so in the end he threw in a screw it and turned on the webcam.

"You're wearing a shirt." Eren did _not_ sound disappointed at all.

"How'd you figure that out?" Levi blinked at him with that blank expression that conveyed a clear 'you're stupid'.

"When you said you weren't."Mikasa finished.

Levi gave them a slow clap, and fuck did he have a way of making even Einstein sound stupid."Look at that _—_ that absolute JonLock duo, didn't I say you should get married?"

"Levi."

"I apologize, mother dearest." 

"Your sarcasm is killing me. Also that bruise on your cheek."

Levi's hand not so subtly flew to his left jaw, all amusement disappearing from his eyes.

"Another fight?" Mikasa sighed, but he didn't make a snappy remark about her opinion like he always did.

"Yeah." He shrugged a shoulder, eyes drifting to the side, visibly tensing.

"Who is it?" His mother wasn't in that passive worrisome state anymore, something like skepticism was present in her expression now.

"Same guy."

"Levi, I asked you who it was."

His jaw locked in extreme discomfort now."It's some guy from college that you don't know."

"You're lying."

He seemed to pause at this, still glancing away as if it would ease whatever confrontation was happening.

"Levi, I swear if you don't tell me right now _—_ "

"Fine.  _Fine_." He exhaled heavily, carding a hand through his hair."Erwin. It was Erwin."

A wave of dead and uncomfortable silence passed over them, Levi's words leaving a stinging echo in Eren's head. "What?" Involuntarily escaped his lips.

"He was...drunk, he didn't mean to." The previous revelation was horrible _—_ but nothing was worse than hearing Levi justify it like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to find a legit reason to break them up, I'm not doing it bc I hate Erwin or something.
> 
> Also um...I'M SORRY????


	9. Wherever you go, you'll still have a home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep on saying the angst will end but wow it's just getting worse.
> 
> Also I think the 'i don't wanna cry in front of people' thing is a little of me bleeding in here because I really hate crying in front of people, however close they are.

Eren would have never thought he'd get so angry one day he'd totally flip out on Levi. Not teasingly, nothing with laughs―well aimed words that left them both hurt. But he did, because he felt breathless with that verbal punch in the gut and suddenly red was blinding him.

"He _hits_ you and it's  _alright_?"

Levi's eyes narrowed."Don't put words in my mouth."

"That's exactly what you're implying." Eren wanted to throw his hands up in the air, but crossed them over his chest tightly instead."Was he drunk last time too?"

The raven suddenly averted his gaze, and he knew he'd hit home. This felt _awful_  on Eren's tongue, because reprimanding was the last thing Levi needed right now. 

"What are you going to do now?"

"What _can_ I do? I can't just―"

"You can't leave him? He's that great, isn't he?" Eren realized just how much that said too late, and his eyes widened a fraction at the look Levi was giving him.

It turned into an exasperated shake of his head."You don't know what you're talking about, Eren."

"This isn't rocket science, for fuck's sake, it's _unhealthy_ and you're not thinking right!"

"It's my life and you've got nothing to do with it. Just shut up for two goddamn seconds."

"Yeah. Because you're a stray and got no one to love you back here, right? Is that why?"

"Eren." Something told him he wouldn't say Erwin's name like that, not even after all that he's done to him. It was enough for anyone else to burn, to break, to fucking _let go already_ but he was a lovesick idiot who didn't know the meaning of letting go. Levi must have seen the affect of it in his expression, his tone reducing into gentle exhaustion."That's enough."

Eren got up, because he promised himself, and Levi would never see him cry because he did. If he knew Ms. Ackerman was passive and would let this slip by then he wouldn't have―but Levi loved her and she was the person he listened to the most, as much as he outwardly doesn't seem like it. She knew how to persuade him, and Eren wasn't worried the slightest about him coming back home.

Funny how he used to think that it was the only thing that mattered, not like everything was in between him and Levi. Even his own self was now becoming a barrier―and he couldn't find any other solution than to be sick about it. They say first love's the hardest, too much attachment, too much built up and inexperienced hopes, too much pain when they're all crushed by reality. If it's a phase, then he's got no other wish then to wake up from it soon.

He excused himself and left, Mikasa might have followed him to the door, he might have been drifting away from her lately and hadn't realized it, he wasn't even sure anymore.

* * *

This conversation had been dragging on for way too long and Eren didn't have the heart to hurt her anymore than he already has. No, he didn't want to talk about his problems, he didn't want a solution, he didn't want anything than to be left alone to sulk. It was as hot as Satan's place, he had a fan blasting in his face and frankly he didn't give a damn if Mikasa was sitting a foot away while he was in his boxers.

"Eren, you'll get a cold this way." She mothered. 

"It's too hot for that, where'd you get it from? I just want to take a nap." He sighed heavily, eyebrows pinched together in a frown.

"You keep avoiding my question." Eren instantly 'ahhh'ed with his mouth a centimeter away from the fan, producing the desired distraction of a broken noise.

He got a smack on the shoulder, and it stung more because it was bare."What are you, like five?"

"No, I'm fifteen and I feel like shit right now, typically." 

She sighed softly at this, and he got a sliver of hope that maybe she'd stop bothering him for a minute."Are you over him?"

"Yes, Mikasa." Eren muttered sullenly, running both hands through his hair and almost cracking a smile when he remembered Levi's complaints about his greasy hair. It left a bitter taste in his mouth instantly, and he tossed his bangs out of his eyes one more time before idly rubbing his palm against his thigh.

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm over him, I hate his guts, I can't stand the prospect of seeing him ever again." A beat of silence as he tilted his head back and blinked at the ceiling, the whirring of the fan and vague noises coming from his open window a soothing and momentary calm. He shut his eyes and huffed another breath."I wish."

The peace was shattered when a pillow to his face broke the silence, knocking him onto his back without warning. Mikasa sounded defeated herself when she nearly whined,"You're absolutely hopeless." He was smothered with the pillow for another few seconds before Mikasa was shoving it under his head."Go to sleep, Eren. I need a few moments of silence to grieve over your hopelessness." 

Eren grinned at her fondly, wondering for a second what he'd possibly do without her. The atmosphere soon got the better of him and he was giving in to the drowsiness that came along with the heat, the gentle noises and breezes soon accompanied by the occasional flip of a page in Mikasa's book eased the tension in his shoulders and he forgot about Levi for a while―shut his eyes and forgot about everything that hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the short update.
> 
> Hopefully one more chapter would fold the unhappiness arc and then good sappy stuff will happen.


	10. Putting the shards together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vague heart to heart that gets them nowhere.
> 
> Named the chapters lamely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the time and seasons in this fic are so shitty, it'll be winter in the next chapter. Also this one's pretty light hearted.
> 
> ACKERMANS=UCHIHAS
> 
> JAEGERS=UZUMAKIS 
> 
> the resemblance is uncanny.

Eren was too absorbed in subconscious anger to reflect on how his reaction to Levi's issue might have severely hurt him. At the moment, he realized he should have been providing a bit of consolation if anything, but subsequent to it, he didn't dwell on the matter at all. His mindset was set on automatic self pity mode.

Which is why it him hard when he overheard bits of a conversation meant for Levi's mother only. They headed straight to the Ackerman's after school to finish a partner project, Levi's laptop butchered voice reaching their ears as soon as they stepped inside.

"...Is he still angry at me?"

"Not in the slightest. Actually, I wouldn't say he was mad at you in the first place, it's just a heated reaction. It wasn't...easy Levi, to hear that from you."

Levi sighed softly, and Eren thumbed his backpack strap as he idly stared at the floor. Mikasa had went still as well.

"I made your favorite chicken casserole today." The smile in her voice was practically audible.

"Dammit, I don't even have enough time to book a flight."

Eren felt relieved at the change of subject, and made an obnoxiously loud show of taking off his shoes, Mikasa opening the front door and slamming it shut again."I'm home." 

"So am I." Eren added, and Mr. Ackerman laughed slightly as they rounded the hallway.

"Guess what." The older instantly threw in.

Mikasa was fast to respond, Eren fast to jab her in the ribs."You made a chicken casserole."

"Well, yes, but that's not the breaking news."

"Okay, what is it then?"

"Levi will be here in week."

"God, and here I thought I could live normally again."

"Mikasa, I can hear you." They bickered for a while back and forth.

Eren bit at the inside of his cheek, not sure why that suddenly sounded a lot more nerve wracking than exciting in addition to the burning feeling of guilt.

* * *

Levi wasn't the same when he came back, and it pained everyone to see him be affected like that. Everything that was normal before seemed to take effort for him to produce, small smiles, sarcastic jabs, his crushed confidence. He was vulnerable in a way, but like everyone else, tried pretending that there was still some normalcy and none of what happened had happened. It was better this way. He might be able to forget. But at the same time, he might be able to build up inner suffering that'll come back to bite him in the ass later.

Eren didn't change his ways in the slightest. He still looked up to him, and didn't think it could be altered easily by something that wasn't even his fault, still was madly in love with him, and still couldn't find the confidence to approach him on the subject. Especially now and after what he recently went through, Eren was sure it would probably be a long while before he even considered getting into another relationship.

They forgave and forgot about the meaningless things that were said before wordlessly, let it heal on it's own with time. And again, they were falling into a relatively comfortable routine―not the best, but one much better than before.

Christmas break was coming closer with the end of November, therefore the school work load increasing in quantity and fantastic, mind numbing quality. Eren was trying to figure out a word problem that took up a whole fucking page and made him despise trig like never before, and Mikasa was probably on her period because she wouldn't even give him the slightest hint nor the time of day.

He asked his math genius of a father, who had his nose in a anatomical book (Eren just thought they were a poor excuse of voyeuristic porn)."Not now Eren, I'm on the road to discovery."

Eren just rolled his eyes at his nerdiness and decided to go demand an answer from one of the Ackerman's. He didn't have a single doubt that they had some Asian roots because they were all inner geniuses. He just made sure not say it in front of Mikasa ever again because when they were in fourth grade she was so smart Eren made a good natured,"Wow, are you Asian?" and she beat him up for being racist so he toned it down for a while. But it was a truth he will forever stick to after everything he saw on Tumblr.

"Mikasa, come on, you're working on it too!" Eren grumbled. She most definitely _was_ on he period.

"Eren." She put her pen down and clenched her jaw."Bottom line, I will not fucking help you with this if your life depends on it and I am so not in the mood. I'll regret killing you, okay? Don't put such a heavy guilt on my shoulders."

"Woa there, backtrack a little." Levi was passing by the den with a mug of coffee when he overheard."Who pissed in your bowl of cereal?"

Mikasa ignored him with a glower but Eren scrambled up from the couch excitedly."Oh my god I need your help please don't say no, please."

Levi blinked at him blankly."No."

"No, seriously! It's just a trigonometric equation, help me, pretty please?" Eren's face went from a dejected downfall to hopeful, full blown don't crush me puppy eyes.

Levi stared at him some more as he took a sip of his coffee."You have a very fatal weapon."

Mikasa giggled from behind them, but Eren just tilted his head in confusion."What?"

"Nothing. I have my own shit to work on, come over there." Levi made an uncommitted gesture towards the dining room, and Eren skipped after him in relief because he just couldn't afford to fail this class after everything he went through.

He slid in the seat beside the raven and unceremoniously placed his text book in front of him, waiting with a hand supporting his jaw at the  _tap tap tap_  of Levi working on his laptop. _  
_

A minute later he set his mug down and moved his laptop a little to the side."Okay. Hand it over." Eren did so, and Levi blinked at the contents for only a few seconds before grabbing a piece of paper and scribbling something down."Work on it from there." He slid it back to the brunet, who in turn stared at the simple diagram with a slackened jaw.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"What." Levi idly responded.

"This isn't fair. I've been trying to figure it out since yesterday." 

"You're welcome." 

He marveled some more at the glorious piece of paper, then subtly peeked up at the raven, who was now engrossed in his work. His eyes caught sight of a black leather cord around his neck and underneath his shirt, the small sliver of a chain at the back distinguishing it as a necklace. Eren was a little curious, Levi wasn't an accessory person at all.

"What are you wearing?" 

A a corner of his lips tugged back."Clothes."

"No, I meant underneath. Your shirt. No, fuck," Eren wanted to hit his head against the table, face burning bright."I meant the necklace."

It was too late, the damage was done and Levi was smirking. He tsked."Such an angel indeed."

"I didn't mean to say that!" Eren almost squeaked, burying his face in his hands."I meant the necklace." He said again, missing the momentary falter in Levi's expression.

"You answered your own question." 

"Can I see?" Eren glanced up after he recovered, only to have Levi snort a laugh.

"No."

"Why not?'

"My secret supply of weed."

Levi continued stoically typing away, and Eren gave him a look. He was joking, right?

Sighing, he returned his gaze back to the unfinished equation and tried to be productive. The atmosphere was nicely quiet and the aroma of coffee was cozy, he really liked the moments that ensued. Eventually, he lost focus and was immersed in his thoughts instead. Suddenly he wanted to tell Levi something that he probably will regret later, and he had a mental battle of _shut the fuck up no what are you thinking_ , before somehow his heart won and he was gazing up at the raven and nervous clicking his pen.

"Hey, Levi?"

He got a hum of question in return.

"I need some love advice." Oh _god_ his heart was just about ready to jump out of his chest.

"Your first choice would probably be a straight forward talk. Mikasa doesn't like beating around the bush."

Eren almost groaned."Not this again. It's not Mikasa."

"Who is it?"

"I'm not telling you." _Eren, get it together. It's not like he could read your mind._

 "..." "You're not getting any, then."

"Forget it." He felt relief wash over him when it was ended, because how could he be as stupid as to step into such dangerous territory when he was the most obvious idiot in the world?

"If it's a one day crush, then don't even think about it. If you feel constantly attracted then yeah, what's the harm, go ask them out."

It took a lot of restraint from his end to not blurt out a'will you go out with me' or something worse."Okay."

Levi's eyes drifted towards him."Who is it?"

Eren grabbed his text book and quickly got up, tinted ears giving him away.

"You chicken." Levi grumbled as the brunet practically ran out of the dining room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, it's not his secret supply of weed. It's his secret supply of Eren.
> 
> That sounded so fucking creepy what the fuck.


	11. This is the moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> b day and sappy moments. lettuce forget about Erwin.
> 
> This is a fucking slow build. Alternatively titled : dun dun dun dunnnnnn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG I DID IT
> 
> Sorry Creoleereri for proving you wrong.
> 
> My birthday's in a day, I can't believe it I still feel fourteen O.o

Eren would lie if he said he weren't counting the days. The end of November, mid December, the twenty fourth. Only a day before Levi's birthday. The older was asked for any birthday wishes, particular places he wanted to go, but the prick refused like the party pooper he was, his reason being that Christmas and birthday don't go together unless you're Jesus. 

But of course, they weren't going to have it that way.

Mikasa was laying stomach first on Eren's carpet, skimming the birthday checklist while she balanced a pen over her lip and under her nose. Eren was playing a game of Osu on his laptop.

"Eren." His music was too loud.

"Hmm?"

"I swear if you don't turn down that Hatsune Miku shit right now."

"Jesus Louisus. I thought those five days were over." The brunet grumbled as he plugged in his headphones.

"Come help me, you slug. 'Omg I love Levi he's so kawaii and cool senpai notice me' and here you are playing Osu when you could be planning his birthday out."

"Shhhhhhhh!" Eren practically dove from his bed to her side."Okay, what do you want?"

"Oh my god we still haven't bought Reindeer headbands, I put that as priority." Mikasa crumbled the edge of the paper.

"We're good, everything else is ready, right?"

"Yeah. Whatever, screw him."

Eren chuckled knowingly. If she didn't care about him then none of this planning would've happened.

Leave it to their wonderful mothers to do all the cooking, and Levi's father the cake because two years of wedding cake experience was bound to come in handy at some point. It turned out more impressive than anything they could buy at a store.

There was one problem though; Levi―and getting him out of the way while they were at it.

"What do you need all these eggs and whipped cream for? Wait, _four_ large chicken?" The raven asked as he stared at the yay big shopping list his mother gave him.

"Levi. I suggest you don't question what you're unfamiliar with." 

"It's food. If there's one thing I'm familiar with―"

"Nope, it's ingredients." 

" _Whatever_." Levi rolled his eyes at her specific-ness and left before she could add another thing to the list. 

It was even harder to kick him out on the twenty fifth."Mom, it's _Christmas_. Christmas means Jesus. Jesus said be nice."

"Oh, shut up you hardcore atheist. You can't use Jesus to your advantage whenever you want to."

Levi turned his confused gaze to Mikasa."Is it just me, or...am I being a bit abused these past few days?"

"It's just you. Go buy those headbands and stop hallucinating." Mikasa hid her smirk behind the magazine in her lap. A crumbled up tissue hit her head before Levi was out the door.

* * *

It's one thirty on the dot. The Jaeger's are at the Ackerman's, and everything is going perfectly well. Eren decided to play with the bbq gun Mr. Ackerman used to make a side dish of baked Alaska and burned his finger.

Mikasa barely had enough time to stick it in a cup of cold water before the front door was clicking unlocked.

All that was necessary for the entry was the confetti, and Mikasa took the pleasure.

The door swung open, there was a loud pop, and then came the scream in unison. Levi looked like he was ready to jump right back behind the door.

"Christ." He breathed, when the moment settled down a little and flimsy colorful bits were falling in his hair."So this is what you were up to."

"You're welcome." Mikasa snapped, punching him lightly in the arm.

"Yeah, I'm honored and elated and all." Levi said with a roll of his eyes, the small lopsided smile gracing his features proving his monotone voice otherwise. He was pulled inside by the flow and grins and loud chatter, getting a decent reaction at the endless tiers of cake.

"No but seriously, did you _need_ to make all this food?" Levi bitched around a mouthful of his mother's legendary casserole.

Mikasa shot him a glare."Shut up and eat, will you? We put so much effort into this." 

"I'm not saying it turned out bad."

Eren was still nursing his burned finger as he watched them quarrel like they always did. The adults were partying on their own, even though Levi _was_ technically an adult now. okay, the adults excluding Levi.

Mr. Ackerman warily watched her son when he made his way to the coat rack."Where are you going?"

"Nowhere." Levi grabbed his coat, statement contradicting his actions. 

"Levi."

"I'm just going to shovel the driveway, I can't stand it anymore."

Grisha gave Carla a look.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, I'm serious. I need a bit of fresh air, and I'll get rid of that aggravating pile while I'm at it."

"Oh my god. This marks an important event in history." Mikasa snorted a laugh."It's your birthday, you dork."

Levi waved her off and put on his apparel, grabbing the shovel and leaving like it was nobody's buisness.

Their parents decided to start a very important debate."I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing."

Eren thought it was fucking adorable, and blushed at the look Mikasa was giving him like she knew exactly what he was thinking. And know exactly what he was thinking she did.

"Should I go?"

"Yes, you idiot, go right now." Eren scrambled up and grabbed his discarded jacket, slipping his gloves on as he made his way to the front door.

There was a pause and Grisha sighed in exasperation."About _that_..."

Eren found Levi actually starting to shovel the driveway, and it made him want to laugh because he didn't think he was talking for real."Need help?"

"No."

Eren jogged passed him, out through the fence and came back a moment later with their own shovel. Levi paused to give him a roll of his eyes and Eren grinned in return."Don't get in my way. Start from the other end."

"Sure." The brunet countered with cheer. On any other instance, he would've resented the idea, but right now he couldn't find himself able to do anything but enjoy shoveling snow out of the way more than he should. Just because he was in Levi's presence. It was pretty cold, but Eren preferred it much more than scalding heat due to his body temperature.

He liked the crunching noises of his boots against the ground, the scratch of the shovel, the pleasure of stopping for a second to rub his wool gloves against his cheeks and earning a snort from Levi. One of their neighbors had their window open for some odd reason and therefore typical carols vaguely reached their ears, and the occasional laugh from one of their parents was audible as well.

Eren hadn't paid much attention to their other neighbor's garden, which is why he nearly had a heart attack when one of those electronic Santa clauses started singing when he neared it.

"Shit!" he nearly squeaked, dropping the shovel and miss muffet-ing it across the yard. Levi glanced up when he felt a tug on the back of his coat, taking in a a terrorized Eren behind him and the huge toy 'ho ho ho'ing while it's red belly lit up and wiggled.

He pressed his lips together in a futile attempt of restraint, but couldn't help breaking into amused chuckles a second later.

"Oh my fucking god." Eren breathed, letting go of Levi's coat and plopping down on the porch."That fucking piece of shit scared me holy shit."

Levi dropped down beside him and tried to laugh without downright cackling while Eren got over his initial shock. The brunet resisted the urge to go and chop the piece of shit up.

"Eren, you idiot." Eren was stupid for thinking so much about everything. For _feeling_ about the slightest thing. Like how something as simple as that could do wonders to his heart. He really _was_ hopeless, wasn't he?

"What's on your mind?" Levi asked when he went unresponsive for a few seconds, and Eren turned his gaze towards him to find a hint of a smile still on his face. He suddenly felt intoxicated.

"Y-uh. Nothing." Shit. _Holy shit_ he nearly said 'you' and the fact that he just did made him freeze up.

"Yeah, right." Levi narrowed his eyes a little, noticing the slip up and Eren suddenly felt his throat go dry. Then he shrugged a little, gesture displaying his careless demeanor. Eren could finally feel some air reach his lungs.

"If I told you something, will you promise to be honest about the same topic?" 

The younger didn't see that coming. And he wasn't sure what to respond, other than a cautious,"Depends."

"On?"

"What you're going to tell me?" Eren was feeling iffy about this. And he realized all of a sudden how much his dumb crush had hindered their relationship. Like, they could be close right now, friends that knew more about each other than they did right now, or maybe Levi wouldn't have to ask like this because he'll know Eren would be just as honest with him as he's willing to be. There was a huge barrier between them, and that was Eren's tendency to conceal.

Levi was trying to get something out of him. And Eren could feel that protective tendency kicking in.

"What if what I'm about to say...is as severely altering as what you have?" The brunet denied the display of nerves Levi was showing."What I mean...is that, it'll be tough to stay in the dark after, you know? You can't not respond in some way, it'll just..."

Eren smiled nervously."You're honestly scaring me right now, Levi."

"No, don't be. It's simple. As simple as we want to make it, I guess." He shrugged a shoulder and idly pulled at the cuff of his glove.

At this point, Eren was just a little beyond dying with curiosity."Okay." 

"Okay okay? Or like, yeah, okay, whatever."

Eren laughed a little. Levi was acting so strange."Go ahead."

The raven paused at this, as if he hadn't considered what to say at this point. Then he averted Eren's gaze."There's this little shit I've been warming up to lately."

Eren felt his heart stutter a little.

"I don't know when it happened, but I'm honestly feeling fifteen again."A corner of his lips tugged back at this."Maybe it's his smile. Maybe it's the fact that he's oblivious as ever, always. Maybe it's his pretty eyes. Or the fact that he follows me around like a puppy."

Eren's breath hitched. He suddenly wanted to run away.

"I've never been in this kind of situation before, so I'm not sure what to do. He turns me into a fucking sap and I hate it. That...weird tug on my heart." Levi wasn't looking at him. Eren would probably do something like pass out or bolt inside the house if he did. He wasn't ready to hear this. Never has been. Never thought he _would._

"I wonder if it's one sided sometimes. I'd like to know if it is." He was staring at his boots, nervously scraping at the ground with it's toe. And he was waiting for Eren's answer, who truthfully wondered how he was still conscious right now.

He felt light headed, hand fisted tightly against the concrete he was sitting on. What does he say? Was he really fucking debating that?

A minute passed. The apprehensive atmosphere morphed into uncomfortable tension, and it weighed heavily on Eren's shoulders.

"What do you think, Eren?" Levi's voice was soft, fragile, and Eren knew the final word was his right now. He had to say it. He had to reciprocate it with all honesty.

And he was doing it again, subconsciously letting his heart get the better of him, and suddenly he couldn't see past the tears blinding his vision. _Don't cry, don't fucking cry now_ his mind screamed at him, and he couldn't speak past it but Levi was waiting for him to say _something_ ―

"Are you...crying? Shit, was it something I said?" The worry in Levi's voice was laughable, but right now Eren couldn't talk let alone _laugh_ ―all he could do was bury his face in his hands and hope he could telephathically convey it to him.

His hands were gently being pulled away from his face, and the hand against his jaw stopped him from looking down again."Oh my god, I'm so sorry Eren, just...forget about it, okay?" 

"You didn't let me say anything!" Eren choked out, suddenly feeling angry at his automatic tears. Levi looked like he was ready to take a step back, and that look on his face conveyed only  _I fucked up, I fucked up, so bad_ and it brought a small smile to the younger's face.

 _Say it. Fucking say it already._ "I love you." _Why I do doesn't matter right now._

If Levi looked confused before, well. His current expression was something new. And Eren laughed, and he was laughing and crying at the same time because what else was he supposed to and it was sealed with the sudden look of clarity that fell on Levi's face and the relieved smile that tugged at the corners of his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UGHHHHHHHH that was so stupid I'm cringing. I'm aiming for 20k words for this fic without adding in some weird plot twist or something and if not, then at least 15k so uh...yeah. This ain't the end.


	12. How does this work?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren are so fucking shitty with this what-do-we-do-next-after-it-is-apparent-we-love-each-other thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need some shy couple Ereri because usually they just get it on right away in fics but no, I can't write smut to save my life. And oh my, what's this, ten seconds of Levi perspective?

Some things are a lot easier than anticipated, and it's really difficult to know what to expect after being wrong about the whole deal. Eren was in a sort of haze, couldn't really believe that it really did happen but it _did_ somehow and strangely so, and it blew his mind that he wasn't the one who even initiated it.

Mikasa was the first to magically identify whatever had happened as soon as they'd stepped back inside after the cold got the better of them. She pulled him aside and Eren groaned because he looked like a gossip-y girl too but was a bit too happy to protest.

"What did you do?" Her voice was all too knowing and suggestive.

" _Nothing._ God Mikasa."

"Yeah, right, with that look on your face you look like you just got laid."

"Mikasa!" 

"Virgin."

"I think I'm dreaming. It's so unreal." Eren sighed and squished his cheeks with his hands.

"Do I get to plan the wedding?"

Eren silently turned around and nearly hit the wall as he tried to leave the kitchen, but Mikasa pulled him back with a chuckle and gave him a quick hug.

* * *

 

Eren didn't think Levi was capable of being fucking shy, but it was probably Eren's constant flustered demeanor that rubbed off on him and confounded him as well. They exchanged numbers and it was stupid that they didn't have each others numbers before but hey, at least they figured it out in the end. Mikasa was being openly and not so severely jealous about her texting time with Eren being jacked by her brother, and it was unhealthy that they texted until like, four am and one of them realizes it and orders the other to sleep. It was a lot easier to text than talk face to face because they acted like twelve year olds around each other.

The only thing sacrificed was probably the casual and ease of communication they possessed before, where as now it was like they'd met for the first time. Maybe it was because they looked at each other in a different light now, and maybe that ease will return in time, after they figure it all out. 

Levi got over the initial flustered phase sooner than Eren, of course, and decided they were in a very... _in between_ position. They said what had to be said, but words without actions are meaningless.

And actions without words are meaningless, too, as Eren was trying to figure what his warm up hand gestures meant. The brunet merely blinked back at Levi and gave him a questioning look and a nod as he mirrored his incoherent hand gestures.

 _Play it off, cool guy, you've done this before._  Eren was starting to look exasperatedly amused as he just stood there in the empty kitchen (a good chunk of their incoherent revelations happened their), Levi shrugging it off and clearing his throat a little.

"We should...go out sometime."

"Yeah." Eren blushed so much his winter tan made sense."We should."

 _Next_. Levi was practically urging and motivating himself."Friday? I can pick you up after school."

"Sure. That'd be great."

"Sounds good." 

"Hi, am I interrupting anything, I'll just close my eyes as I pass through if you don't mind." Mikasa rattled off and scared Eren a foot back and away from Levi.

She strolled in between them and grabbed a cup of water, Levi giving a lock of her hair a quick tug in vengeance. She squeaked in pain and swiftly chucked the water down the front of his shirt.

Eren was sadly a bit too used to this to react any more gravely than a mere grimace, resisting a laugh when Mikasa found a butter knife and angrily made herself a sandwich in exchange for retribution.


	13. The not-exactly-a-date date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Change of plans: Have a no-lifers date. (This includes fights over Disney movies, fights over a blanket, hot chocolate, snow, food, meaningless bickering, and just a small teensy stolen kiss)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been having writer's block for this fic specifically. Idk what's wrong with me.
> 
> But hey, at least this is 100% Eren and levi.

"Hey," Eren greeted lamely from his place by the back doors, Levi giving him a displeased look as he approached.

"I told you to wait inside, didn't I? It's cold."

"I just came out." Eren lied, and Levi grabbed his bare hands with a roll of his eyes.

"Sure."

Eren grinned sheepishly, heat mingling with the cold dusting his cheeks because how could he not when Levi was literally just standing there, holding his hands to keep them warm.

"You got all your stuff?" Levi asked idly, and Eren nodded, dipping his face slightly into the fur of his hood as his eyes lingered on the empty school grounds, all the while lecturing himself inwardly because these gestures were all normal and he should get used to them instead of being a stupid blushy school girl. Levi's gloved fingers tightened a little and Eren felt his heart squeeze along with the motion.

His eyes flicked upwards again to find Levi casually looking back.

"What?" A corner of the raven's lips quirked back.

"What are you doing?"

"Helping you stay alive."

"It's not _that_ cold." Levi didn't listen to him, and Eren didn't question why they couldn't just go and wait for the bus already because obviously it'd be heated enough there, but just continued on trying not to spontaneously combust.

When Levi let go of his hands only to cup his cheeks, Eren shoved them away with an embarrassed laugh." _Levi_."

"Fine." He slipped his hands back in his pockets and Eren trudged alongside him as they made their way across the school grounds, scrubbing at the layer of snow with the toe of his boot.

"So much snowfall this year." The younger idly commented, and Levi snorted.

"They heard about our date and came to rain on our party."

"We could just have our date at home."

"Eren, don't be a loser."

"Hey! You'd enjoy it just as much as I would. We could watch Frozen again."

"I don't even know what to tell you, Eren. When you're stuck ten centimeters in the snow and want to go home to watch fucking-"

"Okay, okay. We could just go watch Disney. Classical and Pixar, you know, recap of our childhood."

"I remember watching Chucky and It."

Eren grimaced a little.

"Alright." Levi sighed in resignation."But no Frozen. Or Princesses. Or Cars, fish, monsters, toys, flying houses, rats, superheroes..."

Eren giggled, shoving his shoulder lightly."We might as well not watch Disney."

"There's the bus. Run, or we'll miss it." Eren's hand was grabbed and they were sprinting the few yards before they missed the bus, Eren protesting a little because Levi was free while he had to carry his boulder heavy backpack. There was a few screams and laughs because Levi nearly shoved him on the ice and he got his revenge by pushing him practically right into the bus's doorway, the cranky driver giving them a look and Eren had to press his lips together to keep quiet.

It was a lot easier now, the awkward atmosphere had lifted and everything was back to being comfortably casual. And it was a lot more than what Eren had in mind, and most definitely worth it.

Mrs. Ackerman just stared at them when they strolled into the house with no explanation."Back already?"

"We didn't go anywhere." Levi grumbled in a faux accusatory tone as he took off his trench coat."We're having an at home date, some weird invention Eren came up with."

"I agree with Eren, it's too cold anyway. Do you boys want anything?"

"Yes, lots. Food. And hot chocolate, the minty kind you used to bribe us with when we were kids."

"What do you mean 'used' to? It still works." 

Eren giggled a little and Levi suddenly pinched his cheek out of nowhere, just as Mrs. Ackerman retreated into the kitchen.

"Hey!"

"You have pinch-able cheeks."

Eren gave him a glare."You're calling me fat, aren't you?"

"God, Eren, will you stop being such a girl." 

The said brunet just continued glaring at him, and unbeknownst to him it had turned into a pout.

Levi just grabbed him in a half hearted headlock and ruffled his hair."Easy there. Let's go pick out some shitty Cd's to fulfill all your Disney needs, we still have that awful stash in the basement."

"What do you mean awful? Disney is life." Eren grumbled without really being offended as he followed him into the kitchen and down the cold stairs.

They went through the said huge stash of Cd's and took their time, Eren practically gasping at every single one he found and adding it to his own stack. Levi kept on choosing the most disturbing horror shit and Eren would appeal with his puppy eyes and Levi would throw it behind his shoulder.

"Do you seriously mean," Levi began as he took a glance at Eren's collection when they were done raiding the box."That we're going to spend the night watching all this cliche, sappy shit?"

"It's a _date_ , it's not meant for gory sightings. It needs mushy sentimental feels to be complete."

Levi gave him an amused smile." _You're_ enough of mushy sentimental feels."

"Hey." Eren blushed despite himself, grabbing his stack of Cd's and making his way indignantly to the stairs.

"May I help you with that god awful bloody pile?" Levi mimicked in a dramatized British accent, and Eren didn't hesitate to do just that and pile his never ending amount into his arms in vengeance.

"You're not going to have time to watch all of that." Levi's mother commented when they appeared with their find, eyes softening in amusement.

"We'll watch what we can." Eren said decisively, and opted to helping bring everything up while Levi bitched more about their choice of movies. After having brought all the food and snacks and drinks Levi's mother had magically whipped up in such a short amount of time, he not so guiltily skipped into Mikasa's room to grab his favorite blanket from her bed because honestly it was so fucking soft he could just- _mmh_.

"Hey, I ain't going under that girly shit." Levi instantly protested.

"Mikasa won't mind." Eren paused dragging the blanket and pillows in his hand to inquire,"Speaking of which, where is she?"

"She has some volunteer hours to finish or some shit. It's gonna take a while."

"Aw, I'm gonna miss her."

"Not like I feel offended or anything."

Eren giggled a little and created a comfortable nest of pillows at the foot of the couch so they' be able to sort of half sit, half lay down.

"Oh my god, what is this-"

"Just give in to your fate already." The brunet plopped down on the ground beside him and skimmed through the movies, asking for Levi's unpleasant opinion.

"We should watch Alice in wonderland. I haven't seen it in a long while."

"Ew."

"Pinocchio? Nah, actually, that donkey part scares the shit out of me."

"Hey, how about you close your eyes and randomly pick?"

"Not a bad idea."

Eren did just that, running his hand through the pile and extracting one."A bug's life. 

"Fucking..."

"It's cute!" Eren quickly put it in before Levi changed his mind. He drew back the curtains to get more of a cold snowy afternoon feel, grabbed his heavenly smelling hot chocolate and snuggled up to his pillows. Levi soon joined him, albeit reluctantly.

Eren felt his heart flit because they'd never been this close before, and even though it was stupid he couldn't help it. They fought over the blanket more than once and it usually ended with a hearty laugh and an annoyed shout, and once it nearly ended with hot chocolate spills everywhere. It wasn't really their idea of a romantic first date, but it was honestly more enjoyable than any other plan they had in mind.

"He's an _ant_." Levi whined in exasperation."And he's literally called flick, what the fuck, how does he construct a fucking bird out of _leaves_?"

"Don't get angry, it's beyond your understanding."

"Look at what Disney is teaching kids your age."

Eren gazed at him from atop his mug, returning with chocolate coating his upper lip."You're way too serious."

"We could make a parody out of this. 'A thug's life' starring ex thug Levi and noob Eren."

Eren snorted a laugh at this, wiggling a little to get more comfortable.

"Ow, that was my hand."

"Jesus." Eren grumbled, tugging at the blanket when it slipped halfway down his legs.

"Eren I swear to god I'm going to-"

"Argghhh! That fucking hurt you asswipe-"

"Is everything okay up there?"

They stopped at the voice of Mrs. Ackerman calling from downstairs, Levi answering with a sarcastic,"Absolutely splendid."

"I'm sure." She breathed through a laugh, and Eren angrily tossed a cheese puff in his mouth.

"Look," Levi sighed, bundling up the blanket away from the both of them."You either go grab another one of those, or press against me really closely and stop nagging."

"I am!" Eren gave him a look from his lowered spot, realizing somehow in their chaos he'd curled up underneath his arm and nearly had put his head against his chest.

Levi tossed the blanket over them again, Eren fitting a hand behind Levi's back to efficiently use space while Levi casually threw his arm around Eren's neck and the said brunet was proud to say he was managing quite fine in such a situation. 

"I can feel you eating." Eren idly commented and Levi snorted.

"Creep." A small pause."Oh, look, because a princess would give that many fucks about a loser like Flick."

"Atta thinks he's sweet! Don't be such a jerk."

Eren wriggled his toes a little and Levi nudged him back with his foot, and soon they were subconsciously footsieing until Eren slipped his leg under Levi's so they'd stop the war. It was all unintentional cuddle positioning. That was Eren's story and he was sticking to it.

He felt nerves take over again when Levi played with strands of hair at the back of his neck in an apparently idle manner, skin prickling in a pleasant way and stomach doing funny things. His toes curled a little, and he wanted to tell him to stop because the back of his neck was excessively sensitive like that, but at the same he didn't because it felt nice in an odd sort of way.

"Easy. You're heart's running a marathon suddenly."

Eren ducked his head slightly, feeling oddly lax in contrast to his nerves. Levi instantly noticed this and stopped.

"It's just...the back of my necks's really sensitive."

"Like, bothersome sensitive? Sorry about that."

"No, just...I don't know. But it's not. Bothersome." Eren quickly corrected.

Levi gazed down at him with an unreadable expression, and Eren stared back for a moment and tried to decipher it."What?"

Eren had a second to see Levi's eyes flick momentarily to his lips, before a fleeting something happened and he didn't have time to even figure out it did before the touch was gone.

He blanked for a second, and blinked stoically ahead as he felt his breath catch in his throat. 

Levi _so_ did not. He totally just kissed him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lame.
> 
> Aiming for one last chapter. have no specific plans, though.


	14. Our little happy ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conclusion. Mikasa is their ultimate shipper.

He hadn't even felt his senses come back before his jaw cracked in a comfortable yawn, and he snuggled against his object of warmth and ignored his persistently awakening mind. He was simply too comfortable to make a move, despite his apparent need to do so and his groggy limbs.

"And this is the unidentifiable mixture that is my brother and his boyfriend slash my best friend, who honestly have been friendzoning it for so long it was agonizing."

Eren cracked an eye open when that long whisper came, staring at the phone an inch away from him in confusion. Then he bolted up and shoved Mikasa's face away while he was at it."What in the name of fuck are you doing-"

"Saving memories." She side stepped away from him swiftly.

"Give me that." 

"Come and get it." The ravenette waved the device in her hand tauntingly, and Eren wrapped his warm blanket around his shoulders before swinging his legs over the side of the almost unfamiliar bed.

They wrestled for it playfully, and Eren didn't know why he wanted it badly but he knew he had a lot of shit to delete, and Mikasa was being meanly badass.

"What is this." Levi grumbled as he lifted himself up and leaned his weight against an elbow. His expression wasn't too pleased."Eren, give it back. You're not Superman."

"What are you doing there?" Eren asked in slight surprise.

"What am I doing in my bed?" Levi laughed a little and slumped back against his pillow.

Mikasa had already slipped out the door, and Eren just wasn't in the mood."We were in the den."

"You fell asleep right after the millionth Disney movie. Man, what a painful marathon." 

Eren scratched at the back of his head and yawned again. He dropped his hands against his folded legs and blinked in a sleepy daze ahead.

"C'mere." Levi mumbled, lifting an inviting arm away from the space Eren previously occupied."It's cold. And you're a walking talking furnace."

Eren smiled sleepily and climbed back in bed, deciding they must have slept pretty late to be this drowsy still. The dent he'd left in the mattress was still warm, and so was Levi's hold. His exposed toes curled a little at the cozy feeling in addition to the gushy surge of something pleasant in his chest, and he hooked his arm around Levi's firm frame, hand idly brushing at the back of his neck.

"Yesterday was great." He murmured in genuine appreciation.

"I think I have a bruise or two." Levi answered in blatant honesty. 

Eren laughed."Yeah, me too. But still."

"Still." Levi agreed, a corner of his lips tugging back. He dipped his head into the messy mop of fuzziness and sighed."Your hair is also still fucking greasy."

"Well sor-eee."

"It smells nice, though."

"Why thank you."

"But greasy."

"Not everyone can have your pretty hair." 

"Of course not."

Eren just rolled his eyes at his cheekiness, grinning a little nonetheless. He sighed in content, feeling himself sort of melt back against Levi with his exhale. It was honestly so nice right now he sort of questioned it's reality. 

So good it can't possibly be true. It really wasn't time for him to be such a pessimist.

"Levi?"

"Mm."

"...Nothing."

A few comfortably silent moments passed, before Eren tried again.

"Levi."

"What."

He wasn't sure. He wanted to say so much right now, so much that words didn't seem enough. 

_I love you. I'm happy, are you? What are we now?_

_What does all of this make us?_

Levi eyed him in mild scrutiny."I can see the gears in your brain turning."

The brunet smiled half-heartedly at this, suddenly feeling off. Like, he was going to burst into tears again and Levi was probably going to make fun of him for being a hormonal little shit.

"What's wrong?" Levi must have seen it in his eyes, because every trace of a smile disappeared from his lips.

"Nothing."

"Hey, quit bullshitting me."

"No, it's fine, really." The brunet buried his face in Levi's chest to avoid his gaze, eyes feeling embarrassingly moist anyway.

"Eren."

"I'm just..."

"Hormonal, I know. Worse than any girl I knew."

Eren knew him too well."I'll just pretend I didn't hear that."

"Come on, talk to me."

"I'm okay."

"Talk. Now."

He sighed, warm and heavy against the fabric of Levi's shirt."Like actually, I've never been more okay. This is all sort of like a dream, and I'm just...really happy we've come to this kind of result."

Levi's shoulders eased a little."You scared me for a second."

"It was hard, you know? Really hard. I didn't know what would come out of my stupid doting. For the longest time I thought I'd just throw it out the window or something and move on. But I couldn't."

"This could have happened a long time ago, if you weren't so chicken."

"Hey." Eren protested without really having anything to protest about."You were just...always either out of reach or taken."

"You flatter me, Eren." 

"Cheeky bastard." He smiled this time, grateful for the small distraction."Anyway, I'm glad it's all over now. No more worries."

"Your worry was pointless, anyway. I couldn't really put you in any category before, like friend, little brother, annoying but still endearing little shit or something. But you were really precious to me, you know. Just...precious."

Eren honestly didn't know how to respond to that, but decided the fact that he almost choked on his own breath and turned a million shades of red was enough telling.

"I really meant it." He whispered after a while, trailing his hand down until he found Levi's and carefully threaded their fingers together. 

"Meant what?" 

"Everything. From the bottom of my heart."

He felt Levi smile rather than saw him, and he got a comforting squeeze of his hand that conveyed a lot."I know."

"I really do love you."

"I know." He said again, softer this time.

Eren didn't know why he felt uneasy about this, like maybe he was saying it too soon. But he wasn't lying, because he really did with every meaning of the words.

"It's...alright if you don't feel the same, I can wait. I've waited all this time, it would suck to back out now." It was almost like an insecurity that Levi probably should be aware of.

"Hey. Shh. If I knew lots of food makes you like this in the morning, then I wouldn't have let you eat all that shit. From now on you eat supper early." Eren smiled despite himself, and let out a small laugh.

"I'm not vey fond of expressing myself like you do, mini explosions and all." He continued in a graver tone."But you should know that I wouldn't exchange this, us, whatever you want to call it, for nothing in the world. Or for anyone else."

That was _I love you too_ in Levi language. Eren felt his heart pick up again.

"No more chasing, okay?" Levi was just humouring him, and he grinned anyway when a chaste kiss was pressed to his forehead.

"Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOH there ends my second longest project!! (seriously though why can't I break the seventeen thousand word barrier???) it was so much fun to write. Also if you feel like this ending isn't enough of an ending then please do give me your suggestions and I might write a bit more for it.
> 
> Thanks to Yoko for pulling me through this and being absolutely and utterly helpful and encouraging, and for bearing with me all throughout XD and of course, for everyone else that read it and left their lovely feedback. 
> 
> Later <3


	15. Extra: Of weddings and over hyped moms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *dingdingdingding* Six is le winnerrrr
> 
> Also about the ages, I know it's younger than average for marriage but I didn't want them to be together for like, ten years or something before they got married.
> 
> BONUS (that I'm pretty sure no one wants): Erwin showing up at their wedding.

"Do we need anything? Am I forgetting anything?" They had a month, and Eren was already frantic and up the wall. He paced the room, pretended Levi wasn't holding back from laughing at him, and waited for him impatiently to finish. 

"We literally just need to get ourselves there." He threw a glance at his wrist watch and put his comb down."Gemini's closes at five today, we have a few hours."

Eren suddenly looked up."Are a few hours enough?"

"Oh my god, Eren." Levi laughed for real this time, grabbing him by the wrist and leading him out."We're just getting fitted is all. Half an hour, give or take."

Mikasa rung them up for the hundredth time that day, and Levi was honestly so exasperated right now. First Eren, now _her_.

"We're coming. Yes, right now. I'm putting my shoes on."

Eren could hear Mikasa rambling on the other line, fanning himself and mentally screaming to calm the fuck down already. Levi gave him a smirk and teasingly held the door open for him.

-

They picked Mikasa up and headed towards the tux shop or whatever, the ride still as nerve wrecking as ever. Levi drove because Eren would hit them against an electricity pole not even five minutes into the drive with the way he was being that morning.

Mikasa leaned forward and graced them with her excited girl talk while Eren worked on remaining conscious.

"Eren should totally get a dress, he'd pull it off."

"Why am I the female suddenly?" He shot back indignantly, but she only ignored him.

"White would look better on you."

"I can get a white tuxedo, can't I?"

"Oh! And a teal shirt or tie. That would be gorgeous."

Eren made a dying noise and sunk into his seat. He was so nervous and their wedding wasn't even until a month. 

Mikasa fidgeted a little in thought."You'll be clad in black, of course. Dark bad boy and shit."

"Thanks for asking our opinion."

"Anytime, bro. Do they have a range of sizes? What are we going to fit you in?"

Levi pretended he didn't hear that.

"There's some kiddie sizes available, no?"

He reached back to tug at her hair, and she squeaked. Eren laughed nervously. 

The initial idea was to get them tailored to their own design, but after a few debates and squabbles they decided to pick some pre-stylized tuxedos to spare Eren the time and trouble. They were pretty fancy and plush, so fancy Eren was sort of feeling disoriented because he usually would be browsing through hoodies and jeans and not- _this_.

"Oh my god this is beauty." Mikasa was fawning over everything, but this time she sort of _was_ right. She'd matched a black tux with a grey, intricately floral vest that was absolutely fucking beautiful.

"Wow, okay." Levi stared at it."I want it. What do you think?"

Eren regarded it with a conflicted expression."I'm kinda just standing here imagining you in all this stuff and having the weirdest boner right now."

Levi just gave him a cheeky, 'gee, thanks' expression and Mikasa had to take a minute to get over her fit of laughs. 

After they'd matched all the accessories with the tux minus the shoes, Mikasa declared it Eren's turn.

"Well. Crap."

"You need to breathe."

Levi snickered."Who needs a wedding coordinator when we've got Mikasa?"

Mikasa blinked."You mean you didn't hire one?"

"Of course we did, but not for this stuff. I'm going to need her for organization and all."

"Brezenka or whatever? She's pretty popular around these parts. It'll be perfect."

Eren paled. Perfect? What if it isn't perfect? What if-

Levi apparently noticed his turmoil spell and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. Eren was having a hard time believing this. He was practically dumbstruck.

When Mikasa had drifted a good distance away, he pulled Levi closer and tightened his hand around the smaller one."We're getting married." He whispered, as if it was some sort of untold revelation. 

Levi's lips tugged back."Really now?"

"I can't believe it. I'm scared if I will I'll wake up."

He stared up at the brunet, expression so serious it was cute. Five years had gotten him growing with a vengeance, everything about him was now with an extra grain of maturity. The outline of his jaw, his broad shoulders, bone cracking strength. But the one thing that didn't change, and didn't seem to plan to, was his everlastingly wonder stricken eyes. They were still just as fatal.

Eren blinked at him questioningly when he continued regarding him with inner musings."What?"

"Nothing." He gave him a quick peck on the lips."Let's go pick out your stuff."

Eren whined again. 

-

They ordered their apparel, Mikasa took pictures because she just couldn't wait, and they headed back to the Ackerman's to do some vigorous planning.

Mikasa hummed her own rendition of 'here comes the bride' when she stepped inside, intentionally keeping Eren behind her.

"Already?" Carla was a bit surprised."It took me days to pick out my wedding dress."

"We weren't picking out dresses." Levi offered matter of factly.

Eren gave him a thoughtful look."And that was like, how long ago?"

"Are you calling me old?"

"Of course not." Eren flinched away before she could grab his ear, giving her a winning grin. 

Mrs. Ackerman sighed."Seems like they were in diapers only yesterday."

"Please no, not _that_ conversation." Levi grumbled, flopping down on the love seat and Eren followed.

"How do girls shop so much? My back hurts already." 

Mikasa took a seat between their mothers and pulled out her phone, an excited smirk on her face. She was probably the most hyped for this wedding.

They fawned some more of the tuxes together, Eren grumbling about it being a girls thing again.

At some point, they'd drifted into their own conversation about their cat. Like, did she hear them at night? Did she intentionally piss on Levi's pillow the next morning? Did she _understand_ what she was hearing? By the time they'd payed attention again the conversation was becoming quite remarkably awkward.

"...they were totally mating dancing it for the longest while." 

Eren just scrunched his nose in distaste at the mental image.

Carla smiled at the memory, giving Eren a look. He blushed despite himself, and the constant reminder that, 'hey, you're mature enough to keep your blood at bay' didn't work that great."Who would've thought? Our boys are grown up men now."

Levi glanced at the ceiling in frustration."What did I say?" He grumbled in a sing-song murmur.

"With a life of their own, too. "

Mikasa smirked mischievously."Making babies."

Eren tossed his cushion at her, hitting his mother in law instead. He paled, fired an incoherent string of apologies while Levi and Mikasa cracked up. No one was injured, thankfully.

"I don't think they'd have kids any time soon, though. You know Levi is an utter mess when it comes to kids." Their ability to continue a conversation after a major interruption was impressive. 

"Oh, but Eren would love to. Four at a time, I bet."

"Well in that case, there has to be an in between solution. Two are good."

"To start off, I guess." 

To start off? What does that mean? Eren gave his mother a quizzical look that she payed no attention to. 

"Mikasa should carry their children, don't you think? Surrogacy seems safe enough."

"If Jean doesn't mind."

"Okaaay." She laughed nervously."Now _this_ is getting awkward."

"Ha! Feel it." Eren made the same mistake again, cushion hitting Carla instead. She didn't hesitate to run after him this time and teach him good. 

And again, it was like nothing happened in between.

"And don't get me started about their cat."

"She is such a biiiitch." Mikasa drawled with raised eyebrows, multitasking between that and typing furiously at her phone. Probably texting Jean or something. 

"They'll get a dog, that'll teach her good."

Eren folded his arms, gave Levi a look."Is it just me, or am I getting the vibe that..."

"We're like, invisible." Levi shrugged in a tired 'moms' manner.

"Oh gosh I can't wait to hold their child." Carla gushed.

"I'm hungry. Is there food around here?" Levi cleverly interrupted, stretching as he got up and strolled out of the living room. Eren gave him one glance before hopping up and following lest the conversation picked up again. 

"Jackpot!" That was Levi's voice.

"Now I remember why I put up with them in the first place."

Carla gave the ravenettes a look."They found good food."

Mikasa nodded."They found good food."

-

Eren didn't think this Brezenka person would make it this much worse for him, and after a whole day of agonizing nerves and stress and anxiety, he was honestly ready to call it fucking quits.

"What," She hissed as her eyebrow twitched."The actual _fuck_ do I do with your hair."

"You're asking _me_?" He screeched, ruining all she'd worked at for the past two hours with one careless swipe through his hair."I'm fucking done."

"It's okay, Eren."

"Don't touch me!" Mikasa instantly retracted her hands like she was burned."Just gel it back, who cares about characteristic touches or shit, god."

"You're a brat." she cocked one hip to the side and brushed her sandy blonde bangs out of her face.

"Well excuse me for caring about the biggest day of my life."

"let's take a break, alright? Can't work with you like this."

"But we don't have time!"

Mikasa had to shove a pill of Advil down his throat and scream at him a little so he'd calm down a bit. Extreme, but it worked. Somehow they were able to tame his hair professionally, although Rico still had a few protests about it being not too trendy or some shit.

And that was it. Everything was absolutely perfect, despite all the tears of frustration. 

Eren could not _believe_ this. 

Mikasa linked her arm with him and they made their entrance a little sooner than he would've liked, although the ceremony had technically started already. The weather was absolutely fantastic, he was glad he hadn't decided against it being outdoors. A lot of the guests were already present, he noticed, lingering around the park here and there. He was subconsciously searching for a certain someone with his eyes, part of him loathing the dumb tradition because fuck he was so _nervous_.

He finally spotted him standing with a few of his guests, looking just as expectedly good, and crinkled the bouquet of flowers in his hand. A few whispers and nudges had him turning around, and Eren instantly felt himself pale rather than flush. Levi gave him a once over and smirked appreciatively and met him halfway. Eren resisted the urge to hide his face in his hands because _goddammit_ everyone was looking.

"Hey, gorgeous." Levi practically crooned, slinging his arms around the brunet's neck in a natural manner.

"Says you?" Eren countered with a smile. He linked his hands around the small of his back mindlessly, willed himself to not think about the people cooing all over them right now.

"Would I be pushing it if I said I couldn't wait for this day to be over?" Levi whispered, and Eren blinked at him in confusion.

"Why?"

"Because then you'll be mine in every way there is."

"Oh my god." Eren rolled his eyes in fond endearment, cheeks heating up nonetheless."You sap."

This was a feeling he'd told Levi a hundred times that he was afraid of, because sometimes it seemed impossible to be so happy without anything going wrong. What if he was caught off guard? Feeling so blissful and secure, he wouldn't see it coming. This was a new experience, but he was so fucking happy he was scared.

Eren realized it wasn't for nothing. His eyes idly flicked upwards, he did a double take, and quickly pulled his faltering smile back up. Levi blinked at him."What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He swallowed."Just give me a minute." Brushing past the thicker crowd now, he inwardly prayed Levi wouldn't look back in the direction he was going and fixed his gaze on a certain target he just couldn't afford to lose. He felt something rise in him so quickly and out of nowhere, it felt like he was simply losing control of himself, and the smirk on that fucker's face didn't do anything to put out the fire suddenly burning at his throat. 

He swerved through the crowd impatiently, and after what seemed like forever and a day made it to an isolated little cluster of trees, something he could appreciate. Someone he'd barely had the time to remember the image of was suddenly familiar in such burning clarity it hurt. He felt every emotion he'd contained spur up at the sight of him again.

"The lovely groom." he greeted in mock surprise."Congratulations."

Eren didn't know what was with him all of a sudden, but he couldn't find the ability to do anything other than grab him and slam him into the nearest upright surface, which was a good old sturdy tree. For some reason, Erwin didn't look too surprised. 

Words weren't enough. Insults weren't, either, nothing was. Eren punched him with all of his strength, every last bit of his scalding rage. Erwin shoved him off then. 

He was bleeding, but to Eren's utter dismay, he hadn't lost a single tooth. If he weren't clad in screaming white, if this weren't his wedding, for fuck's sake, then the least Erwin would get was come out of this alive. 

Erwin raised an eyebrow, wiped at his mouth with a mere bothered look."What's the matter? Why'd you stop?"

"Get the fuck out of here." Eren hissed, voice barely above a whisper. If he'd spoken any louder, then god help him.

"Don't be like that."

"Get. _Lost_."

Erwin lingered for only another moment to fix Eren with a gaze he couldn't read, and then wandered off with what little dignity (or lack thereof) he still had. Eren had to screw his eyes shut and mentally will himself to not run after him and beat the living hell out of him. 

Levi was looking a bit worried when he returned, and Eren could only imagine the expression he came back with."What is it?"

Eren rested his forehead on Levi's shoulder."Nothing important."

"Liar."

Levi hadn't seen him. That was all that mattered, really.

"Levi. I really love you, you know?"

"I should hope so." He answered typically."We're only at the beginning, after all."

"Just wanted you to know."

He could practically feel Levi smiling fondly."I do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm afraid I'll say bye and pop up randomly again like I did with this chapter. But seriously I re-wrote this so much I'm so effing frustrated because I feel like it's super boring and bland*tableflips*
> 
> I find PDA super awkward so that's why you can feel the awkward bleeding in when I wrote the wedding part.


End file.
